Spencer West, the activist and author born without the use of his legs, is reflecting on the path to self-discovery in a new memoir. In an excerpt from Breaking Free: Stop Following Expectations and Start Following Yourself, published by Hay House, West revisits moments from his childhood that, in hindsight, were signposts on his journey to coming out as gay.

Early fascination with shirtless heroes

West recalls his preschool obsession with the 1980s cartoon He-Man, the buff warrior who rode around shirtless on a giant green cat. When he saw the 1987 live-action film Masters of the Universe, starring Dolph Lundgren, he was mesmerized, though he couldn't explain why at the time. The next day at school, his main takeaway wasn't Skeletor-defeating heroics but rather that He-Man wore no shirt throughout the entire movie. Looking back, West recognizes this as an early, if unacknowledged, signal.

The Tiger Beat moment

Around age nine, while flipping through a celebrity magazine with a friend named Amber, West saw a picture of actor Jonathan Brandis and agreed that he was attractive. But before he could voice his opinion, Amber interjected: "But you wouldn't think so because you're a boy." West accepted her correction without argument, having internalized the expectations placed on him. It was only years later that he understood the significance of what he'd felt in that moment.

A longer road to understanding

West also recalls watching Interview with a Vampire as a teenager and feeling something unexpected when Tom Cruise's vampire bit Brad Pitt's neck. He enjoyed playing with Barbie dolls, painting his nails, and singing along to Barbra Streisand and Cher. Yet despite these accumulated signs, West didn't come out as gay until he was a junior in college. In his memoir, he examines the gap between the external clues and his internal readiness to accept and claim his identity, exploring the role of societal expectations in delaying self-recognition.

Source: Queerty

Cover photo: Siavash Ghazvinian, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

lgbtq+ memoir

Spencer West on the childhood signs he missed before coming out